Here it is September, and I have not yet paid off my car yet, even though it should have been paid off in July. It would have helped if we didn’t have to pay to get the car repaired not too long ago. That really threw off our finances. And so, I owe now about what I owed in July when I had planned to have the car paid off. Love those late fees I keep racking up since I just haven’t bothered paying it at all recently.
Which brings me to the job front and my frustration with all things job related.
I was talking with my husband yesterday. The last time I had a raise was in 2002. That was, of course, several jobs ago. And not only have I not had a raise in all those years at any of my jobs, I now make less than I made in 2002, and in fact, make less than I made in 1999, before I even had my totally useless college degree.
Back then, I worked 40+ hours a week for a law firm as a paralegal, and went to school 12 hours a week. It was a stressful job, but I really did enjoy what I did. It was a nice office, with pastel colors and pedestal sinks in the bathroom, and two or three conference rooms with cherry wood tables and chairs. Swanky.
Speaking of, last Saturday night, after we did the tour of the Orlando Brewery, a voice called out to me from the bar, “Hey! I know you.”
Of course, I never expect to run into anyone I know, and, in fact, suck at recognizing people (but for last night when all my neighbors were at the grocery store at the same time as me), so I couldn’t place the lady. Until she said, “we worked together at the law firm.”
And then I knew her.
And we chatted briefly.
And she gave me her business card. She has, for the past ten years, worked for the attorney who left that law firm. And… they’re hiring.
She suggested I email her next week, as she’s on vacation right now.
I gotta tell you, I wouldn’t mind getting my foot back in that door. Even as a receptionist. Just to get my foot back into the world of estate planning and probate law. It’s a nice field of law, no matter how morbid it may sound.
Since I worked with the paralegal and attorney before, they are already familiar with the quality of my work and my work ethic. And I’m almost positive the attorney had left the firm, taking the paralegal with her, prior to my botched suicide attempt, so I shouldn’t have the scar showing should I get an interview. Yeah, I just don’t remember either of them being in the office after I was released from the looney bin, so I think they had already gone their own way.
I hope.
Because while I truly don’t mind talking about those dark days, I’ve never had to discuss them with anyone from my past that hasn’t remained in my life all these years.
In other news, someone else I know requested my resume yesterday. It’s not a job I’d like much, but I’d be good at it and the pay would be so much better than my current pathetic income that, when combined with my husband’s income, is less than our monthly expenses. And gee wouldn’t it be nice to get the stupid car paid off?!
Sigh. This is not helping my head ache at all.
Happy Friday, kids. I’m gonna go have an Octoberfest. Tis the season! Amen!
You supply the words, I pick and choose from multiple entries and post the story later. Go nuts!
Number:
Adjective:
Geographic Location:
Adjective:
Plural Noun:
Name of Girl in Room:
Noun:
Adjective:
Verb:
Noun:
Noun:
Noun:
Plural Noun:
A Russian Word:
Exclamation:
—
Noun:
Adjective:
Movie Actor:
Adjective:
Adjective:
Plural Noun:
Plural Noun:
A Color:
Number:
A Celebrity:
A Female Celebrity:
A Town:
Movie Star:
Adverb:
I have not slept much lately. And I can officially confirm that my lack of sleep is altering my ability to be smart.
We had RTY last night, because we’ll be out of town for a few days, including our weekend. But since they changed schools start times again, we cannot take her to school in the morning, as that’s a full two hours after the start of the work day. The original plan was to drop her at the MIL’s place last night to sleep there. However, we altered that plan to have the kid stay at our place, and we’d drop her at the MIL’s place in the morning.
That meant we needed to add 15 mintues to our morning commute. No big deal. Only, I didn’t account for lack of sleep stupidity, that is compounding daily.
Last night, I said to the husband, “we need to leave fifteen minutes earlier to take RTY.”
He said, “what time should I set the alarm for?”
And this is where you can tell neither of us is running at full brain capacity, because fifteen minutes earlier should have meant the alarm was set for fifteen minutes earlier. So, instead of the alarm sounding at 545a, it should have sounded at 530a, because that’s fifteen minutes.
Me: Set it for 5a.
Him: Five?!
Me: Yes, because we have to leave fifteen mintues earlier. RTY needs thirty minutes to get ready, we generally don’t get her up until after we shower, so 5.
Him: Okay.
Can someone please explain to me how fifteen morphed into forty-five?!
And so, we got up at 5a instead of 545a. And, because I knew for a fact I only allowed for fifteen extra minutes, I hustled us out the door at 545a. (because 545 is exactly like the 615 I intended) I’m actually quite pleased with our hustle since we were all grumbling about how early it was.
We dropped RTY off at MIL’s place. My gas light illuminated, but I knew I was cutting it too close to be where I needed to be at 7a, so I decided I’d fill the tank in the afternoon.
At the intersection of 436 and 50, roughly two miles from my final destination (that I needed to arrive at by 7a), I looked the clock: 6a.
Six.
SIX?!
Me: Did I totally mis-calculate?
Him: Why?
Me: It’s six!
Him: Oh. I guess so.
So, I drove to the next gas station and filled up, and drove him to his office, where I hung out for a while, lamenting the thirty minutes of sleep I robbed all of us of.
Then, I got to my final destination where, after 5 attempts, I finally gave up on parallel parking. Could not do it. At all. And I’m actually pretty fantastic at parallel parking on this street between those two cars. The Element is so much easier to parallel park than the CR-V ever was. This morning: not happening. In total exasperation, I finally swore and decided to drive around the corner and park on the car-free section of road and just walk further.
I pulled to the curb, turned off the Element, retrieved my crap, exited the vehicle and… dammit, I was something like 50 feet away from the curb. Insert profanity here. Got back into the car and tried again. And again, before finally being close enough to the curb. Kids, I couldn’t even parallel park with no other obstacles on the road.
I’m that tired.
And apparently I think I’ll be okay to do a 300-something mile drive this evening? Lord have mercy!
Four hundred years ago people knew little about our VINDICTIVE universe. They thought that the earth was the center of the entire DOG and that the sun and all of the WAVES revolved around it. But then, a BURMESE named Copernicus discovered the truth. The earth revolves around the DOUGHNUTELEVENTY times a year.
Copernicus, whose last name was ANDERSON, was born in Warsaw and he used one of the first SLIMY telescopes, which was invented by GRANDPA. This primitive telescope was little more than two pieces of BACON stuck on each end of a FILE CABINET. In 1600, an Italian COW INSEMINATOR named Galileo expanded Copernicus’ YELLOW theories. But during the Inquisition in Italy he was LAZILY arrested. After SURFING for six months in jail, Galileo was forced to SCREAM.
And the other one, for good measure.
Our Solar System
When we look up into the sky on a BUMPY summer night we see millions of tiny spots of light. Each one represents a TOENAIL which is the center of a SLIM solar system with dozens of NIPPLES revolving PLAYFULLY around a distant sun. Sometimes these suns expand and begin COUGHING their neighbors. Soon they will become so big they will turn into GANECKTANAZOINKS. Eventually, they subside and become ECSTATIC giants or perhaps black BALLS.
Our own planet, which we call J. ROBERT OPPENHEIMER, circles around our DAINTY sun 1,207 times every year. There are eight other planets in our solar system. They are named BRUTUS, GARTH, BAMBI, CANDY, IGOR, BRANDY, Jupiter and Mars.
Scientists who study these planets are called ELVIRA.
Lame (and late), perhaps, but enjoyable none-the-less.
Adjective:
Noun:
Plural Noun:
A Nationality:
Something Round:
Number:
A Last Name:
Adjective:
Name of Person in Room:
A Food:
Noun:
An Occupation:
Adjective:
Adverb:
Verb Ending in “ING”:
Verb (Present Tense):
And a second one, for good measure.
Adjective:
Noun:
Adjective:
Plural Noun:
Adverb:
Verb Ending in “ING”:
A Silly Word - Plural:
Adjective:
Plural Noun:
A Name:
Adjective:
Number:
A Name:
A Name:
A Name:
A Name:
A Name:
A Name:
Another Name:
When I was a kid 42 years ago, we used to believe in superstitions like it’s bad luck to open an ANEMONE in the house, and if your FORK itches, it means a CRAYON is coming to visit, and you’ll have SPARKLEY luck if you find a four-leaf-PINE TREE. And we believed that if you spilled TZATSIKI at the table, you had to throw some over your left MARTINI GLASS, and if your GARGANTUAN toe hurt, it meant rain, and if you broke a PHOTOGRAPH you would have seven years of bad BOOKS.
Today kids have different superstitions, such as it’s bad luck to jump on the railroad tracks just before a SHOELACE pulls in, and don’t throw SHARKS at policemen. But actually, there’s only one superstition I believe in. Whenever I comment on my health, I always remember to knock on a piece of ONION.
Last week, I saw a television show that really gave me DOG pimples! It starred OBAMA as a mad BLOGGER who discovers a way to make bedbugs fourteen feet high! The scientist has a goofy assistant, played by NANCY PELOSI, who gets mad because the scientist keeps hitting her on the head with a LESBIAN. So she lets the bedbugs loose. Right away they start to eat up ISTANBUL (ed. note: not Constantinople). The army tries to stop them by spraying them with SEMEN but that doesn’t bother those GREEN bedbugs. They go right on and eat up Chicago. Then the army drops an atom FOOT on them and this kills all of them except one super bedbug who grabs the MORON scientist and jumps into a volcano. And then the goofy assistant takes off her disguise and says, “I was only a DEATH RAY for the F.B.I.,” and she marries the scientist’s beautiful TOOTH, who is played by THE PURPLE PIMP, and they live FLEETINGLY ever after.
—
Did youse guys enjoy that? Should we make this a regular feature? I was originally thinking of having Mad Libs Mondays, but obviously I couldn’t wait until Monday to do this one. And it fits well into my Brain Frieday category. What do you think?
My brain is fried. It think we need some silliness, don’t you? Let’s play Mad Libs. I’ll request the missing words. You supply them in my comments. When all the blanks are filled, I’ll post the fabulous story we created together. Sound good? Hopefully more than one of you will play along so we get a variety of words.
Welcome to Pereiraville! I'm wRitErsbLock; I'm a runner who lives in Central Florida. Make yourself comfortable, comment often, and try not to spill your wine. Enjoy your stay!
Most photos on this site were taken with my Nikon D40.
NFL Betting - betonline.com - your home for big nfl betting bonuses and fast payouts. bet online offers nfl betting, and more with a sportsbook, racebook, and casino action in one-stop.
Welcome to Pereiraville! I'm wRitErsbLock; I'm a runner who lives in Central Florida. Make yourself comfortable, comment often, and try not to spill your wine. Enjoy your stay!
