Can you remember the first time you slipped up and uttered profanity in front of your parents? I can’t recall when I first swore (and knew it) in front of them. I know I was swearing with my friends in fifth grade, and have had a filthy mouth since then. But as far as intentionally swearing, I cannot recall.

I do, however, recall the first time I swore and didn’t realize I was saying something forbidden, but got punished for it anyway. We were living on Lima Street in Aurora, Colorado, so I would have been in third or fourth grade, and therefore eight or nine years old. I remember seeing our cat, Snowball, sprawled under the dining room table with her head set on the foot of the leg of the table. I loudly proclaimed, “Jesus Christ, Snowball, you’ll rest your head on anything!”

Mom, Dad, and Jason froze.

The problem with the punishment I received was that I did not know what I had said that was so wrong. But I remember the punishment. Years later, as this event apparently scarred me, I realized that taking the Lord’s name in vain was my crime.

It does no good to punish your kid if your kid does not know what they did wrong.

Fast forward to last night. Driving home with RTY in the back seat, sherlock and RTY were telling me all about their day, including the results of Guitar Hero.

Sherlock: I beat her butt! I’m amazed she can sit at all with the beating she received.
RTY: No, I kicked your ass.
Me: Excuse me?
RTY: Butt. I mean butt. Sorry.

Later, as RTY apparently dozed off in the back seat…
Sherlock: One time this morning I said I’d kick her ass, and I caught myself, and knew it would come back to bite me.
Me: You just didn’t know it would come back so quickly.
Sherlock: nope.
Me: Did you hear how naturally that rolled off her tongue? That’s not her first time saying that. Which is about right, in the time line of life. I think I was swearing heavily in fifth grade.

It doesn’t make it okay, and she is certainly not allowed to swear in front of us. But, it’s about right in the time line, isn’t it? When do you recall swearing with your friends? I remember it as early as third grade, since my older brother was my best friend, and I had to keep up with what the older kids were doing. But it’s not until sixth grade that I really remember it — playing four-square at recess (why did we have recess in middle school?) and swearing with the other kids.

RTY was four or five when she slipped the F word into conversation. And she immediately caught herself and started crying. But, that time, she was telling a story, and part of the story was, “then she said…” and repeated what her older relative had said to her that included the F word.

Also, kids now hear more profanity than I did. It’s in so many songs, television shows, movies, and ::ahem:: conversations at home. I’m guilty: Dumbass is one of my standard proclamations shouted at other drivers with my kid in the car. And, more recently, we have been less careful about when we utter the F word.

wRitErsbLock