Archive for the ‘Eff Off’ Category

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wRitErsbLock

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complete with profanity, so the extended entry
UPDATED: this will be the place where I spout off any election-related thoughts. Updates likely to be profane, too.
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wRitErsbLock

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Crap, is it four days already?

Took RTY to school this morning. And, I get to pick her up this afternoon. I cannot tell you how much I love the parental tasks.

MIL requested I make a pot of coffee. She’s an instant coffee kind of woman, but appreciates the eat-with-a-fork strong stuff I make when I feel so inclined. I never make coffee at home because I generally have my one cup a day at work. But… someone isn’t working right now, and finances were already tight from the reason I blogged and deleted a week or two ago, so rations are low in Pereiraville right now. I have plenty of coffee (bought last year and never used, see above where I mentioned never making coffee at home) but no Coke. Sherlock is nervous about the lack of Coke, and his payday is next week. So, somehow we’re going to have to stretch the remaining $30 in the bank another week while simultaneously finding a way to pay the power (they gave me a courtesy call yesterday about the date they intend to cut off our service, that was nice of them, did wonders for my nerves) and the mortgage. And maybe the car payment, too.

This morning, I cleaned all the animal cages. Pinelope was not happy about being asked to wake up so early. She makes me laugh. I need to start the next load of laundry (the sheets have been trying to walk off the bed for several days now) and then, I think I’ll commence decorating for Halloween.

We’re talking seriously about canceling our Halloween party. We haven’t made the invitations, not that we can afford to mail them anyway. And, we always drop a ton of money on food and libations. That is money we do not currently have, and may not have even if I start my fabulous new job on Monday. On the other hand, sherlock’s custom-made costume looks amazing! His best friend’s sister, a seamstress, has been working on it, and he got to try it on Wednesday. It’d be a damn shame to not have a party to wear it to.

Crap, today is Friday already.

I think I’ll refill my coffee and get moving, otherwise the self-pity might resume.

wRitErsbLock

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Just so you know. I hate Chase. They reek of incompetence. At least my hatred for Suntrust was based on emotions. My hatred of Chase is because they are absolute morons.

Seriously. It’s not a hard question: “Hi, I’m mailing my mortgage check and don’t have my statement. Can you please tell me how much to make my check out for?”

No, they cannot. And now I’m being transferred to someone who can maybe help me.

But then, what do I expect from a company that has held not one but THREE of my mortgage checks for over a month each, just to add on additional late fees.

Chase: YOU SUCK! I shouldn’t have to send a check at all, if you’d just update my account status online (not updated since March 1st), I could make a payment that way. But, no, you’re completely incompetent. And… seriously… how many people do you have to transfer me to just to find out how much to make this stupid check out for?! MORONS!

wRitErsbLock

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Oh I hate when my past collides with my present. Hate it. It makes me feel… ill-at-ease.

When this name first crossed my desk weeks ago, I thought to myself, “that a familiar name. I wonder if it’s the person I know?”

When the wife came into my office last week, I thought to myself, “her husband’s name is so familiar.” But I didn’t recognize her. Of course, I wasn’t looking to recognize her.

Now that I’m about to call and confirm their appointment here tomorrow, I have the contact info open in Outlook that I did not enter into Outlook, the husband’s email address is at one of my former places of employment.

And I’m feeling awkward now.

I told Bosslady I used to work with the husband. She said, “can you tell me something about him?” He had LASIK in 2000. “That’s not what I want to know.” I talked about what I remembered of him. It’s not much; I have a lousy memory and that was 2000-2001.

I’m feeling apprehensive. I hope he doesn’t remember me. I have a new last name. I have thirty additional pounds.

All I can think is that when he knew me, I was just an administrative assistant. And a writer. I wrote the monthly company newsletter. And an editor. I edited every single document in that company. They churned out 100+ page business plans monthly, along with a plethora of legalese pages, and I had to turn the very technical documents into readable English. Now, if he comes in tomorrow and sees me sitting here at the receptionist desk, and if he remembers me, he’ll think, “oh, gee, she’s a secretary. Eight years later, and she’s still just a secretary.”

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wRitErsbLock

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IF YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR COMMENT FISKED, DO NOT POST A COMMENT!

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You sir, yes, you in the red Honda Accord (Florida Tag #B65 9VS)

YOU ARE A JACKASS!

And you there, in the ugly maroon minivan

YOU ARE A JACKASS!

There was some sort of accident at the intersection of Gatlin and Conway as we drove home tonight. Two fire trucks blocked one direction of traffic on Conway and one lane of the other direction on Conway (both lanes blocked heading away from the airport, one lane blocked going toward the airport). We came across Gatlin, as usual, and sat and waited and waited and waited as traffic was barely moving. When it was finally my turn to turn right onto the one open lane of Conway, the lights changed, and I had to wait for a break in traffic that never came, or the green light. Three cars ran the red light, preventing me from navigating my turn immediately. Color me crazy, but I didn’t want to cause another accident just because the light was green.

Well, Jackass #1 in the Red Accord was directly behind me at the light, honking like a freakin mad man because I did not plow through the three vehicles that ran the red light. And Jackass #2 in the maroon minivan, directly behind the Accord, was also expressing his frustration with my inconsiderate caution by honking his horn. As soon as it was safe for me to do so (and y’all know I’m a freakin aggressive New York driver), I turned onto Conway, and got into the left lane (to get around the irritating people in the right lane who were inexplicably slowing to try to look at the accident on the other side of the road). Well, Jackass #1 in the Accord nearly hit me in his rush to get into the left lane. I floored it, hoping to box him in with the slower car in the next lane (because I have no patience for jackasses who are reckless drivers). But Jackass #1 got in front of me, nearly clipping my front end, vehemently gesturing his displeasure at me, and not much father because then the road construction back up kicked in.

Meanwhile, Jackass #2 in the minivan was also trying (unsuccessfully) to pass me and everyone else on the road while gesticulating wildly at me. How dare I be in front of him! Kids, the speed limit is 45. I rarely ever go below 55 on this road.

As the road narrowed down to one lane, Jackass #1 in the Accord suddenly swerved to the right. I swear he was about to drive onto the sidewalk to pass the inconsiderate guy in front of him who could go nowhere due to road construction traffic. Then, he aggressively peeled out to the left, to wait in line to be one of the people trying to cut through the Publix parking lot to avoid the road construction at Conway and Hoffner. All the while showing me his middle finger, while the Jackass behind me was also keenly interested in me knowing the details of his middle finger, at times leaning way far out his open window to make sure I was paying attention.

I was so agitated. Sherlock was only paying attention to Jackass #1, since Jackass #2 was behind us, but I was worried about both of them.

Because Jackass #2 was still behind me, I was careful to do the speed limit and no faster the rest of the way. And he was good about trying to ride in my back seat. I gave plenty of notice with the blinker before the turn that leads to our neighborhood. That Jackass LEANED ON HIS HORN as he illegally drove over the double yellow line to get past me, gesturing again at me, like I have no right to follow the laws of the road and turn onto another road.
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wRitErsbLock

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Perhaps you recall on Friday when I mentioned the post man refused to take my 15.3 ounce package with him. Something about a USPS rule that anything over 12 ounces needs to be delivered by me to the post office.

Saturday afternoon, we took the 15.3 ounce package to the 24/7 post office up the road. There was a long line, as there always is at that post office. So, we utilized the postage machine in the lobby. I weighed my 15.3 ounce package and discovered it only weighed 15.2 ounces. I went through and answered all the automated questions (package dimensions, shipping preference, etc), and verified I only need $4.60 to send my package. That’s 11.22 41 cent stamps. I counted the stamps I had slapped onto the package: 12. Twelve forty-one cent stamps, that’s $4.92. Plenty of postage. We dropped the package into the slot and went on our merry way.

Today, my package was sitting on my front porch. WTF?! It has a helpful sticker on it informing me that because my package is over 12 ounces, I need to bring it to my local post office.

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wRitErsbLock

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Oh my goodness.

I am number three in the google search for:

(Profanity barrier)

::drumroll::
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wRitErsbLock

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We’re back… Read the rest of this entry »

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wRitErsbLock

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This post will contain profanity and will piss off one person in particular, at whom it is directed. It is up to that person to decide if they want to reveal who they are in my comments. If you don’t call yourself out, no one hardly anyone will know it’s you.

I will bash religion in this post. And it will be littered with the F word.
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wRitErsbLock

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note: this post was supposed to go up last night, but got lost in the meltdown.

Wesley Clark is a jackass! I was watching him on H&C yesterday. I don’t have TIVO, so I’m going to have to paraphrase him here - Yada yada…failed policies, simper…poorly planned. Just making more enemies…jabber…making us less secure.
Here’s the part that had me spewing blood. He said that our continued presence in Iraq is making our soldiers targets.

Oh, for the love of our founding fathers, tell me this man was NOT a general in my beloved Armed Forces!

Anyone who read my post Acceptable Losses can probably guess my reaction to this, and will also know it’ll be below the fold.
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Brian the Sailor

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To the man driving the white Toyota Tacoma:
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wRitErsbLock

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[PICTURE REMOVED BY wRitErsbLock. I WILL NOT GIVE THIS @$$HOLE WHAT HE WANTS: FAME.]

You are nothing but a stain on the earth, and that’s the only way you’ll be remembered. You’ll get no attempt at understanding out of me. I don’t give a damn about your personal demons.

Burn in hell, you sorry piece of crap.

Update, next morning. I already left this in comments, but I’m glad R deleted that pic. Point taken - he doesn’t deserve the publicity, and I would have deleted it myself.

And since I’m here, Harry Reid is an A$$h@le!

Brian the Sailor

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