Archive for the ‘Potty Posts’ Category

Heh. I love this bathroom!

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I really haven’t posted much at all about the International Builder’s Show we attended last weekend. I don’t know if you’re upset about that or not. But I feel like I owe you a potty post from IBS. Last year, you may recall, I had RTY pose on a potty for you. Not so this year. In the ginormous booth, they had exquisite bath tubs, fancy schmancy kitchen faucets, all manner of sinks, and that loud guy who does infomercials (Willie Maes?) loudly preaching the benefits of various potties.

Seriously, he had inflated balloons (”we call these floaters, and we all know floaters won’t flush”) that he dropped into one of the working models and flushed them down. He was a very enthusiastic toilet sales man. The “green” trend in toilets, of course, is dual flush toilets. Press one for number one and two for number two, and different quantities of water are utilized to flush. I have seen this in use at the IKEA stores.

And now, a humiliate-my-husband picture at the urinal display:

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Pamibe had a post up recently about pron. I left a comment over there alluding to a search term that frequently brings visitors to my site. It’s a pronographic search term (various search terms, all with the same basic theme). Oh, sure, it seems innocent enough, but I recognize is at what it is: a searcher who gets off on girls who might possibly benefit from incontinence supplies. There is a group of people who get off on real or staged bladder control problems. And they flock to my site. I know which posts they find (there is more than one post they find), and am always amused that I rank as high as I do in their various search terms. I imagine they are always disappointed in what they don’t find here.

To each their own, I guess.

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Have you seen this modern model of Mohammed?

It’s very cool looking. My husband sent me the link.

This year, at IBS, I will have to do some poses with Mohammed. Perhaps wearing my Infidel shirt.

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This is one of the toilets at work:

I named it Mohammed. Everyone in my office takes a dump into Mohammed at least once a day, and usually twice a day. Mohammed is very good at his job. As you can see, Mohammed is computerized. Mohammed warms my ass on cold days. Mohammed doubles as a bidet and can warm the stream of water. Mohammed is a great toilet.

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I heard about this on the radio this morning: the Family Cloth. Holy Toledo! Remember when Sheryl Crow suggested people should only utilize one square of toilet paper? Well, this takes that idea even further. People use cloth to wipe after utilizing the facility. The cloth is placed into a container (diaper pail?) and some unlucky person (that would be me in my house) gets to handle all those germ-soaked, stinky, nasty, disgusting cloths that have been collecting for however many days, and throw them into the washing machine. The cloths are then dried and placed back into the bathroom for reuse.

The purpose of the family cloth is to reduce the waste created by toilet paper. The environmentally unfriendly aspects of toilet paper happen before it arrives at your home. Trees are destroyed for the necessary pulp and large amounts of chemicals are used to turn the wood pulp into the soft, fluffy, white tissues we like to use. In addition, those darn packages of t.p. are big and a lot of fuel is burned getting them to their destination. These concerns are causing people to ditch their toilet paper and use a family cloth instead.

Seriously? Are people actually going to do this? Apparently yes. (here, let me help you with that link. CD = cloth diaper, DD = darling daughter, DH = darling husband)

I can see how it’s not a stretch for families who have utilized cloth diapers for their babies. I am fairly certain I came from a cloth diaper family due to being allergic to the adhesive on disposable diapers. But the thought of wiping my butt with a cut up tee shirt, and then throwing that into a bucket to be washed later in the week grosses me out. I can produce a powerful stench; I do not want that intensifying in a bucket all week.

That being said, I am intrigued by the idea of have a TP-lint-free tootie. I hate TP lint residue. It grosses me out. (Although the current brand of TP leaves much less lint residue.)

I just don’t know that I’ll ever care enough about the environment to want to stop using flushable toilet paper. Next they’ll try to take my tampons away. Here, shove this rolled up tee shirt up there, it’s more eco-friendly. BITE ME!

What do you think of the Family Cloth? Would you use it? Would you want to use the bathroom in someone’s house knowing that the stack of cloths on the back of the commode are recycled tootie cloths? Personally, I’d avoid that house. But I’m a bit of a germ freak.

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The ten year old step-daughter of one of my co-workers was at the office all afternoon. She came out of the bathroom and bee lined for her dad. I then heard her confide in him that while she was in the bathroom she pushed some of the buttons (on the computerized toilet) and water squirted out. He laughed and asked where the water hit her. She loudly lamented, “IT SQUIRTED MY BUTT!”

And I laughed and laughed (in another room).

I then listened as my male co-worker explained to the ten year old girl about what a bidet is, how it works, etc.

And I laughed and laughed (in another room).

The whole conversation was funny. I’m just not sure which part was funnier.

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I managed to join the raising of RTY just as potty training was deemed successful, and saw her so infrequently as to have never been part of potty training at all, so I don’t really know the first thing about training a child to utilize a potty. Even if I did, I would only know about training a girl, not a boy, and I’ve heard there are different methods for each. But I saw these online the other day and knew I had to do a post.

Mini urinals for boys by two different companies.

Do parents need this to teach boys how to pee standing up? Are public men’s restrooms equipped only with urinals, so that boys never pee into a toilet except in a home? Help me out here, men (all two of you who read me). Do you remember it being a traumatic experience learning how to pee standing up? Do you think having a mini-urinal as a toddler would have helped? Many of you can’t aim properly into a toilet, would this have been beneficial to you? Is it wise to teach boys to aim their stream at a smiling face in a restroom?

Inquiring mind wants to know.

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You knew there would be a potty post.

At the office building where our website meeting occurred on Friday morning, I found the greatest public restroom ever. And, fortunately, I was armed with a camera!

Beside the door exiting out to the lobby, they had this handy dandy towlette dispenser with a friendly sign encouring the bathroom visitors to utilize a wipe to open the door, and a handy dandy waste basket right there to dispose of the towlette.

Greatest. Potty. Ever. For a germ freak like me (and several of my faithful readers).

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Thanks, SarahK, for knowing I’d love this type of thing.

Tracey’s Serious P*otty Survey:

1) So DO you talk on your cell phone whist indisposed in a public restroom? Not before, not after. In flagrante delicto.

As SarahK will attest, if I have not yet begun vacating, I will answer to tell the caller I’ll call them back. But only if the phone was in my pocket. If it’s in my purse, I don’t care to fumble around looking for it. It should be noted, my cell has a very disconcerting, screaming ring tone. It scares the hell out of me in my family room; in a bathroom it echoes and is really disconcerting. So my main objective is to get it to shut up so I can pee in peace. Again, in my purse, not so much because it is stifled by the crap in my purse.

2) In an empty public restroom, do you take the first available stall/urinal or make sure there’s space between you and any potential restroom interloper?

I take the first clean-enough-to-utilize stall. If it’s a restroom I have utilized previously, chances are I have a preferred stall. Like, for instance, at school: stall #5.

3) T/F: Automatic flushing toilets are scary.

TRUE! I HATE AUTO FLUSHERS. That’s one reason I like stall #5 at school: it is the least likely to flush while I’m still engaged in activity upon it. Also, it’s not a big “spitter.”

4) Tell me the truth: I worry that the sensor thingie on those automatic flushing toilets is really a camera taking secret pictures of me.

False. I never even considered it. Thank you for making me paranoid.

5) Women: Sit or Hover? Well, men you can answer this too. Don’t be shy or anything.

If there are toilet seat covers, I will sit upon the paper. If the bathroom is clean enough, I will paper the seat myself to sit. If the bathroom is not clean enough, I will paper/utilize seat cover and then hover anyway. The problem is, I’m not a good hoverer. My stream tends to go a bit nuts if I hover for very long, and then that’s a bigger catastrophe than sitting in the first place would have been. Oh, and I cannot hover and do more than pee.

6) T/F: Tissue paper seat covers don’t protect you from anything.

They protect my fragile sanity, so that’s something.

7) Women: Wait to start your process until someone flushes, giving you “cover”?

If I’m doing more than peeing, yes.

Talk to strangers in the restroom?

Not if I have the option of NOT talking to strangers in the restroom.

9) Talk to strangers in the restroom whilst indisposed?

Not if I have the option of NOT talking to strangers whilst indisposed.

10) There is no toilet paper. So I use__________________.

another bathroom. But I usually have tissue in my purse because it’s always allergy season, so I’m rarely caught off guard. Oh, if there’s a cabinet in there, I have no problem at all with opening it to get tp.

11) Is it just me, or do those tissue paper seat covers NEVER flush properly?

They rarely flush properly.

12) There is no soap. So I_____________________________.

Freak out. Please let there at least be hot water. No? Great, now I need to go out to the car and utilize hand sanitizer. Note to self: do not use this bathroom again.

13) Women, T/F: I have used the men’s room when the wait for the ladies’ room was too long.

True

14) Women: Are you familiar with p*ee cakes? If yes, please describe one without help from a man.

pink, icky

15) Men: Are you supposed to aim at the p*ee cake or ignore it? Please enlighten.

16) T/F: If the counter is wet, I always wipe it up.

False. Not my job.

17) T/F: I won’t use a toilet if the toilet is clean, but the toilet seat cover tissue is floating shredded in the bowl.

It depends. Is there another clean stall for me to use? Is it an auto-flusher? If it’s not an auto-flusher, I’ll flush (with my foot) to make the bowl “clean” for me to soil.

18) I will hold it in altogether if the person coming out of the stall looks even slightly mangy or feral. (Good to see I have not editorialized with this questionnaire)

TRUE, if I can hold it until the next acceptable bathroom comes along.

19) I prefer:

A) The old-style faucets that I turn on/off.
B) The new-fangled motion detector dealios.

B. The less bathroom surface I have to touch, the better. Some of the restaurants I have been to recently have motion sensor paper towel dispensers. I like that because then I don’t have to touch anything in their bathroom.

20) Moms, I will take into the ladies’ room with me:

A) My daughter
B) My son
C) Both

How old? I’ll take both, but once the boy is older (and I don’t know how old, because I don’t have a boy), I’ll let him go into the men’s room for a timed visit.

21) Dads, I will take into the men’s room with me:

A) My daughter
B) My son
C) Both

22) Women: Adjust your makeup in the mirror?

what makeup? I will ameliorate my hair, if necessary.

23) Men: Adjust your makeup in the mirror?

24) T/F: I touch the door knob with my bare hand when leaving the restroom.

FALSE. EW! What if the person before me didn’t wash their hands? YUCK! That’s why I have a paper towel in my hand still.

25) If F, what do you use to open the door?

The paper towel I just dried my hands with. Hopefully I’ve timed it right so that someone else opens the door for me, but that doesn’t always work out. So, use the towel to open the door, and hopefully the trash is there so I can throw the towel away. Otherwise, I feel bad if I miss when I toss it. Seriously, though, I rarely use a “new to me” bathroom. So I have a plan for every bathroom I visit.

Thank you for taking Tracey’s Serious P*otty Survey!

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J was in the bathroom (the bathroom located behind my desk, the bathroom that I hear everything in, as opposed to the bathroom down the hall that I also hear everything in because my desk is strategically placed so that I hear everything in this office). J’s cell phone was in his office. As soon as J commenced peeing, his cell commenced ringing. I could hear J rushing to finish to get to his cell phone on time. J exited the restroom (cell no longer ringing).

Me: **shocked and appalled** Did you wash your hands?
J: not yet, I wanted to get to my cell phone
Me: Go wash your hands! (I’m so demanding)
J: **has the look that lets me know I’m in for a real treat of a conversation, the same look he gets when we discuss politics and religion** Is it possible…
Me: Yes, it is, now go wash your hands.
J: **approaches me**
Me: No! DO NOT TOUCH ME! GO WASH YOUR HANDS!
J: Is it possible, do you think, for a man to go into the bathroom and do what he needs to do without touching anything that might necessitate him needing to wash his hands?
Me: No. It is, however, possible that I was in the bathroom and purposely peed all over my hands and then rubbed my hands on the handle - that you just touched - when I flushed the toilet, that I know for a fact has not been wiped down since the weekend, if it even gets wiped down then. GO WASH YOUR HANDS.
J: You did not do that. **scratching his beard with his unwashed hands**
Me: Is it possible, do you think, for a client or employee who utilized that bathroom to have nasty disgusting germs on their hands when they flushed that toilet so that when you flushed the toilet just now you touched those nasty disgusting germs?
J: I will wash my hands, but not because you told me to.
Me: Good. You do that.

Later…

J returned from the bathroom down the hall.
J: Did you hear me running water?
Me: Yes, but I have no faith whatsoever that you allowed that water to touch your hands. Honestly, you’re like a child.
J: **laughed and went to his desk**

Later still…

E exited his office.
E: Hey, touch this **extends injured hand** and compare it to this hand and tell me if you think there’s a lump.
Me: I will not touch you.
E: No, seriously, touch it. Do you think there’s a lump?
Me: I’m sure there is, but I will not touch you.
E: Come on.
Me: No. Get away from me. Your father has made my germ-o-phobia go off the scale today and I refuse to touch either one of you. Go have your parental unit touch your hand.
E: You’re really weird.

It should be noted J is the one who regularly talks on the phone and EATS FOOD while utilizing the bathroom. J does not understand why I find that appalling.

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Seen on WESH

A bill moving through the Florida Legislature would require restaurant restrooms to have toilet paper.

Sen. Victor Crist, R-Tampa, thinks restaurant bathrooms ought to always have plenty of toilet paper, and he’s got legislation to show he means it.

The bill has several requirements for restaurant restrooms, generally requiring that they are clean and have certain amenities, such as hot water and plenty of soap.

The bill also requires that a supply of toilet tissue must be provided in each toilet stall at all times.

Crist delivered his remarks to the Health Regulation Committee, which gave its unanimous approval.

It makes me wonder if something went horribly wrong while he was utilizing the facility in a restaurant.

I’m all in favor of public restrooms being clean and well-stocked, but I hate to think my tax dollars are being wasted on what seems like “well, duh!” legislation.

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This potty is located inside the mini space shuttle you can walk inside of at the visitor center.

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So this is the potty on the space station.

The foot straps scare me little bit.

The sign on the wall reads:

CONICAL FILTERS
URINE QD ADAPTER
SANITATION AGENT
URINE FUNNELS
SCRAPER TOOLS

Scraper tools?!

The other sign on the wall reads:

POTABLE AND WASTE TANK ON PRESSURE

(I cannot read the bottom line)

There was no one there to demonstrate how it works.

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The hat box potty, modeled by the charming and sophisticated RTY.

You knew there’d be a potty post from me, didn’t you?

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