Archive for the ‘Some Fun Now!’ Category

I love movie theater popcorn. Okay, really, I just love orange movie theater popcorn salt. I know I’ve mentioned my appalling habit of getting a cup of salt and then dipping individual pieces of popcorn into the salt. It’s really wrong, I know. I love it. So, I was thinking, to help me run when my shins are screaming, I bet having wheeled popcorn machines popping fresh popcorn zooming along in front of me, with a giant bucket of orange salt, would help me run through the pain. It’s a brilliant plan, really. Oooh! Popcorn AND a mobile bar so I can be chasing a martini, too. And a tray of dark chocolate-covered strawberries.

Yup. That’s what I need. That would be perfect!

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Mommy Always Wins posted a laugh out loud funny story about her brother fixing the directv. Go pee before you read it, and put your drink down so you don’t snarf, because at the end, you’ll be crying. Now excuse me, I need to blow my nose; it runs when I laugh myself to tears.

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Yes! Brilliant!
Go pop bubble wrap!

Just the thing for a rainy (::shakes fist at TS Fay::) Friday full of computer woes.

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And also

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m trying to figure out how to set up this computer. So far, Quickbooks keeps crashing, and Outlook is being a PITA. I just love technology.

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I’d certainly vote for my friend.

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hot tin roof

stairway to heaven

the stairway to heaven is on an architect’s office roof

I took hundreds of pictures. I am trying to show self-restraint in posting them. But the town of Seaside is just so beautiful, I want to share it with you.

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We were so close to meeting Mrs. Who and BitterRoot last night. They were going to come join us for dinner, libations, and just good old adult fun/conversation here at my cousin’s beach front condo. It promised to be a wonderful evening. While we awaited their arrival, we headed down to the beach to kayak and swim, since the water was so calm. I was out splashing in the water when CiL motioned for me to come in to shore. Mrs. Who had called. Now, I couldn’t quite hear due to the noise of the waves, and the slight wind, but it had something to do with gas. Either she had left the gas card in the other car, and the kids had that car, or they had stopped at Taco Bell and BitterRoot had gas and the car was not well ventilated. I’m not sure which it was. I don’t think Mrs. Who was gasping for breath, so it must have been the credit card in the other car.

There will be another opportunity, but it was sad to miss this one.

Soon, my friend.

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First of all, sherlock and I slept in. I did, anyway, and he stayed in bed with me. We got up around nine and went out to the balcony for a little while. It was raining, so we debated about whether or not we would trek up to Seaside or not. After checking the weather maps, we decided to go. A cloudy day makes for a less beastly hot day. Like a moron, though, I didn’t put sunblock onto my face, so my face is red, but at least I did the rest of my exposed skin. In Florida, a cloudy day is a great day to get a sun burn.

I took hundreds and hundreds of pictures at both Seaside and then in the next town over, Rosemary Beach. Seaside is the town where they filmed the movie The Truman Show. My boss took an architectural tour there three years ago. I have drooled over the pictures he took and have been wanting to go ever since. It is such a pretty town. We took several hours to walk around while I took pictures of pretty houses like this:

And this:

This school:

And this church:

It was quite warm, so we stopped for some super yummy ice cream before leaving town. We stopped at Rosemary Beach and had a Realtor show us two condos and one house that are for sale. So not in my budget, but I sure hope my Cousin and CiL buy in this town, as I loved it. I especially loved this building, and took pictures of it from every angle possible:

I had a great time today. I’ll post more in a little while. Dinner is ready, and I hunger.

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Profanity Alert.

Cousin, just go ahead and skip this entry or you might not believe me when I tell you I had fun.

Just so you know, they have the double red flags flying down on the beach that mean no swimming.

This afternoon, we brought the kayaks down to the beach. By “we brought” I mean my cousin and cousin-in-law (hereinafter CiL) brought them down while I supervised. Sherlock and CiL went out first. I’m very sad to say I missed most of sherlock’s ride, as I raced back into the condo to retrieve my camera, sunblock, and sunglasses. I’m told sherlock rode an excellent wave in to shore… backwards. He came up to the lounge chairs soaked and exhausted.

Then, it was my cousin’s turn and my turn.

I did so well! Despite the really rough water, I paddled out. Okay, I lie, first I got flipped and had to come back to shore to get back into the kayak. But then, I paddled pretty far out, beyond where the waves were breaking. I got out to the appropriate place waited for a break in the waves, and attempted to turn my kayak around so I could ride a wave back to shore.

Yeah, it didn’t work out quite like I planned. A wave flipped me. Somehow, the cord that keeps the paddle connected to the kayak (so you don’t lose one or the other, but both!) wrapped around me, essentially tying me to the kayak. Upside-down. Underwater. And I thought to myself, “hell no. This is not how I’m dying, tied to an upside down kayak.” I freed myself from the tangle and was so pleased to get a breath of air.

Then things got bad for me, very, very quickly. Seriously.

You hear on the news about people drowning, and you wonder how it can happen so fast. Well, here’s how. You get pelted with wave after wave after wave. And you’re swimming parallel-ish to shore, because you know that when caught in a strong current that instead of quite literally killing yourself by fighting the current you’re supposed to swim parallel to shore until you free yourself from the current, only what they don’t tell you is that sometimes the waves are so overpowering that swimming parallel is damn near impossible, and you just get tired.

After I freed myself from my kayak/paddle noose, and after another wave or two smacked me, I managed to swim to the kayak and capture it. I then spent several minutes trying to get back into the kayak, while the waves continued to smack me. My cousin, bless her heart, was trying to help me. She paddled over to me, only, somehow she ended up making a WB sandwich. My kayak was closest to shore, I was holding it, and my cousin was behind me. So, as wave after wave hit her, her kayak slammed into me, crushing me between the two kayaks. After the third or fourth sandwich, she was finally able to maneuver away so I wouldn’t die by bludgeoning!

Around about this time, a good Samaritan in a boat approached and hollered to us to see if we needed help. Both my cousin and I assured him we were fine and waved him off. I would have been mortified to have to be rescued at sea. Mortified. But, in retrospect, I really should have accepted his offer of help, because just a few more minutes later, I was done.

All this time, my cousin and I were trying to get me back to shore, but the current was not cooperating. A wave separated me from the kayak again, so my cousin paddled after it and regained control. I tried and tried and tried to swim toward the two kayaks. But I was just so tired. Seriously. I totally understand why people drown so quickly, because if I didn’t have a life jacket on, it would have been so simple to go under the water and not resurface. I just wanted to lie back and close my eyes.

I was tired.

By some miracle, I finally reached the kayak again and grabbed back onto it. The kayak was like a security blanket to me by then; if I could just hold onto it, it might catch a wave back to shore and I might not die out there.

I think my cousin was scared, too. She kept asking me how I was, and I kept saying, “fucking tired. I can do this, but I’m fucking tired.” That did not make her feel any better, and I’m certain she will affirm that I looked like I was drowning.

Meanwhile, I kept looking toward shore, hoping I would see my husband and CiL swimming out to save me. Yes, I was the damsel in distress and I wanted my men to save me.

My cousin said to me, “you’re not swallowing lots of salt water are you?” And I replied, “of course not! I won’t have room for vodka when I get back to shore!” She laughed. I’m sure it was a relief to her that I wasn’t drowning if I could still joke and be jonesing for a drink!

Somehow, with my cousin’s help, I made it back to a depth where I could finally stand. I was still getting pounded with waves, but at least I could stand. I lost control of the kayak again, but I didn’t care anymore. CiL and sherlock were wading out to me; CiL rescued the kayak while my husband helped me get back to shore. I was tired. Possibly more tired than I have ever been. And sore.

This is my right arm, the underside between my elbow and my shoulder:

It hurts. It’s about four inches long. I’m not sure which part of the battle inflicted this lovely bruise. I expect to find more bruises all over from when I was sandwiched between two kayaks. I have one coming in on one of my legs, and an inch long welt on my left wrist.

Kids, I was scared. Don’t get me wrong, kayaking was fun up to the point where I got into trouble. But once I got into trouble, trouble turned into big trouble so quickly. And I was sacred.

I think I’ll sleep well tonight, safe in my husband’s arms. ::insert eye roll here::

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We hit a winery up the road. We got there at the right time, as we were the only customers in the place. As such, the nice lady let us taste almost every single wine they had. So, we each had something like twelve or fifteen different wines. My kind of tasting!

We bought two bottles for tonight.

My cousin and cousin-in-law are about to get off work, so I think we’re heading back out. I really need a quick nap, but I don’t think that’s likely.

Having fun! Wish you were here!

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I was swimming in the Gulf! And by swimming, I mean desperately trying not to drown as wave after wave pummeled me!

The drive last night was fine. I think my favorite part was the twenty-five minutes we spent traveling two miles just outside Tallahassee in the road construction zone. Good times, good times. That really threw off our drive time.

I think we got here at 1230a our time, 1130p in this time zone. My cousin kept me up way too late after that.

I love their home. They’re on the twenty-something floor of a nice condo in some town on the Gulf of Mexico. This morning, after my morning swim, we stood on the balcony and watched dolphins playing.

Yeah, I’m an ocean kind of girl. Oddly, even though I live less than an hour from the beach, we never go to swim, only to fish.

Anyway, sherlock and I are running on very little sleep. And while my cousin and cousin-in-law work (ha ha!), we’ll shower, and then seek out one of the two wineries that are within walking distance.

Special note to Mrs. Who: are you sure? You have my cell number, right? You should, since I have yours. Call me if your schedule opens up. We can meet half way.

There has been some talk of visiting Seaside this weekend. I am very excited about that.

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We were watching the Olympics last night (when we really needed to be sleeping), and like everyone else, we heart Michael Phelps. This is what it sounded like to watch Michael Phelps race the 400m last night.

TV: The race begins, Michael, of course, immediately pulls into the lead.
Sherlock: Go Michael!
Me: It must be so demoralizing to be everyone else.
TV: And Phelps turns and pulls farther ahead.
S: It looks like he’s exerting no energy at all.
Me: Phelps takes a break for a Coke to give the other contenders a chance.
S: Phelps exits the pool… he walks to the vending machine… he picks… Cheetos! Michael Phelps has chosen Cheetos for his snack while the race continues.
Me: **laughing**
S: And Phelps pulls up a lounge chair to enjoy his snack. And now the rest of the swimmers have completed their first lap.

It continued that way for the duration of the race.

Later…

TV: And that completes Chellsie Memmel’s Olympics.
S: Security sweeps in and escorts Chellsie out of the arena.
Me: If she hurries, she can head over to the cube and try to snatch a few Cheetos from Michael Phelps before he jumps back into the pool to slaughter the rest of the swimmers in that 400m race!

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H/T poker buddy Fred.

The feces really hit the, um, power lines and a green house in Switzerland.

A giant inflatable dog turd by American artist Paul McCarthy blew away from an exhibition in the garden of a Swiss museum, bringing down a power line and breaking a greenhouse window before it landed again, the museum said Monday.

Leave it to an American artist to think feces is art.

The art work, titled “Complex S(expletive..)”, is the size of a house.

Is “Complex S(expletive)” really a better term in writing than just writing out “shit”? Really? Because I look at that and see only “complex sex,” which carries my mind right down the drain and into the sludge in the gutter.

The wind carried it 200 metres (yards) from the Paul Klee Centre in Berne before it fell back to Earth in the grounds of a children’s home, said museum director Juri Steiner.

Look! Up there in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… it’s… SHIT!

The inflatable turd broke the window at the children’s home when it blew away on the night of July 31, Steiner said. The art work has a safety system which normally makes it deflate when there is a storm, but this did not work when it blew away.

Is anyone else giggling over this giant flying turd having a malfunctioning safety system?

Steiner said McCarthy had not yet been contacted and the museum was not sure if the piece would be put back on display.

Pity. I think giant inflatable feces is just the kind of art exhibit people would flock to.

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Yesterday, while shopping for lunch at the grocery store, RTY asked, “can we make cookies?”
Me: What kind of cookies?
RTY: Olympic cookies.
Me: What kind of cookies are Olympic cookies?
RTY: Round.
Me: Are they peanut butter? Cinnamon chip? Sugar?
RTY: Cinnamon chip.
Me: yes, we can make cookies.

I sent her to buy a box of butter, but really, I should have had her go in search of acne treatments given how bad for us the cookies are!

Back at home, sherlock started the grilled ham and cheese sandwiches while RTY and I started the cookies. And, because I suck, I kept discovering missing ingredients. So, the cinnamon chip cookies (generally just your classic chocolate chip cookie recipe, but I live with three weirdos who don’t like chocolate, so we substitute cinnamon chips, which, btw, are nearly impossible to find except around Christmas, when I stock pile) had to be improvised. Now, don’t get me wrong, the cookies taste fabulous, but they are ugly. I used too much butter given the missing dry ingredient, and that I didn’t substitute enough additional flour. Ugly, flat, super crispy cookies. Tasty, but ugly.

Before I started the peanut butter cookies sherlock requested, I bought the missing ingredients. I didn’t want two ugly batches of cookies.

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We took a few minutes break from watching the Olympics to play a little guitar hero. Well, I took a few minutes to play, anyway. Sherlock decided to go for a walk in the unbearable heat around the pond. If it weren’t so hot, and if I weren’t so determined to unlock that next character, I would have gone with him. So, he said to me as he left, “if you get it unlocked phone me. I’ll be outside.” Yeah, he wants me to do well in Guitar Hero, too!

Anyway, it’s back to Olympics watching. I did not unlock any new characters, and grew frustrated with my inability to improve at all on the song I was playing. So, back to beach volleyball.

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