Archive for the ‘Thar She Blows!’ Category

Sorry for the lack of online activity today. I have been trying to pull my hair out beat my head against a wall set up my new computer here at work. I have very little patience for technology. I cannot get farookin Outlook to work. Cannot. And, I’d love it if someone would be so kind as to tell me why none of the discs that came with this stupid computer are the re-install disc that Outlook is telling me I need.

I hate technology.

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Ugh! Raise your hand if you are sick and tired of all this rain. ::WAVES ARMS IN AIR::

I think I speak for all Orlando when I loudly proclaim: GO AWAY FAY!

This is day three of non-stop rain. I am thankful, however, to not be in the town that has had so much rain their sewage is contaminating the standing water. Blech. Remember after one of the 2004 hurricanes when poor Duane and Margaret had to abandon their apartment due to a sewage back up completely flooding their first floor? Yeah, blech. The stench. The germs. Toss in a few spiders and you have my worst nightmare!

So, thank you, Fay, for not (yet) contaminating my pond with fecal matter.

But please, please, please stop raining on me. You are really bringing me down, and I already struggle with that nonsense. (That man could depress a hyena. Name that movie.)

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Maybe it’s because I just discovered it’s Tuesday, or maybe because the Olympics is seriously eating into my beauty sleep time, but I cannot get a handle on today. Yesterday, we had internet connectivity issues all day long. Since one of my job descriptions, unfortunately, is IT girl, it was my problem to solve. Our ISP decreed we were exceeding our bandwidth, thanks to our new-to-us ftp server. I made the executive decision to cough up more money for more bandwidth, and that seemed to solve the problem.

Only, today, our internet is still sluggish. Tempers are flaring. And I desperately need a chocolate milkshake. I think I’d much rather wear my “web site maintenance” hat today, going cross-eyed looking at wonky code, than continue to be the IT girl.

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Can somebody please tell me Why TF NBC feels the need to put up banners that take up a quarter of the screen, effectively blocking the event I am watching? Honestly. A small, tasteful banner at the bottom displaying your peacock and whatever inane text would be more than sufficient. I know I’m watching NBC. But you know what, I’m watching it to watch the farookin Olympics, not to watch your farookin graphics. TONE IT DOWN, MORONS!

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Many in my ‘hood expressed displeasure at how much money the HOA (of which I am a board member) spent on cameras at our entrance/exit gates last year. This is why we have cameras:

You destroy my gate, I post you online and hope someone admits you visited them at 216am on Saturday.

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Just so you know. I hate Chase. They reek of incompetence. At least my hatred for Suntrust was based on emotions. My hatred of Chase is because they are absolute morons.

Seriously. It’s not a hard question: “Hi, I’m mailing my mortgage check and don’t have my statement. Can you please tell me how much to make my check out for?”

No, they cannot. And now I’m being transferred to someone who can maybe help me.

But then, what do I expect from a company that has held not one but THREE of my mortgage checks for over a month each, just to add on additional late fees.

Chase: YOU SUCK! I shouldn’t have to send a check at all, if you’d just update my account status online (not updated since March 1st), I could make a payment that way. But, no, you’re completely incompetent. And… seriously… how many people do you have to transfer me to just to find out how much to make this stupid check out for?! MORONS!

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Surely there must be some mistake. The Obamessiah could not have possibly snubbed our brave soldiers on his trip to Iraq. Could he? I don’t think the Almighty could make such an obvious error. Surely such a slight would have been reported by the completely unbiased main stream media. Right? Naturally, I’ll go stick my head back into the sand and believe the media rather than a soldier who was there.

H/T Tammi

(it was sarcasm. I thought I’d better proclaim that because it doesn’t always convey in writing.)

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In May, sherlock signed RTY up for Apple Camp. Positions fill quickly, as Apple Camp is free (or else very inexpensive, but I think free), and since the topics are super cool, kids want to go. RTY did the podcast camp once upon a time and loved it. Last year she couldn’t do any since somebody shipped her off to a third world country for two months. So, RTY was really, really looking forward to the two Apple Camps sherlock signed her up for this year: photography and movies.

Movie Apple Camp is tomorrow. Only, they called to confirm while we were in a movie theater on Sunday, and they opted not to leave a voice mail message. So, since they couldn’t reach sherlock, they canceled RTY from tomorrow’s Apple Camp. WTF? They emailed the cancellation yesterday, and sherlock called this morning to find out why. Because they opted not to leave a message, RTY is screwed. Nice.

I’m pissed.

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Oh I hate when my past collides with my present. Hate it. It makes me feel… ill-at-ease.

When this name first crossed my desk weeks ago, I thought to myself, “that a familiar name. I wonder if it’s the person I know?”

When the wife came into my office last week, I thought to myself, “her husband’s name is so familiar.” But I didn’t recognize her. Of course, I wasn’t looking to recognize her.

Now that I’m about to call and confirm their appointment here tomorrow, I have the contact info open in Outlook that I did not enter into Outlook, the husband’s email address is at one of my former places of employment.

And I’m feeling awkward now.

I told Bosslady I used to work with the husband. She said, “can you tell me something about him?” He had LASIK in 2000. “That’s not what I want to know.” I talked about what I remembered of him. It’s not much; I have a lousy memory and that was 2000-2001.

I’m feeling apprehensive. I hope he doesn’t remember me. I have a new last name. I have thirty additional pounds.

All I can think is that when he knew me, I was just an administrative assistant. And a writer. I wrote the monthly company newsletter. And an editor. I edited every single document in that company. They churned out 100+ page business plans monthly, along with a plethora of legalese pages, and I had to turn the very technical documents into readable English. Now, if he comes in tomorrow and sees me sitting here at the receptionist desk, and if he remembers me, he’ll think, “oh, gee, she’s a secretary. Eight years later, and she’s still just a secretary.”

profanity barrier Read the rest of this entry »

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Uh Oh. Gardasil is in the news and the news is negative for a change.

Gardasil has been the subject of 7,802 “adverse event” reports from the time the Food and Drug Administration approved its use two years ago, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Girls and women have blamed the vaccine for causing ailments from nausea to paralysis — even death. Fifteen deaths were reported to the FDA, and 10 were confirmed, but the CDC says none of the 10 were linked to the vaccine. The CDC says it continues to study the reports of illness.

(emphasis my own) While ten confirmed deaths out of twenty-six million doses may seem statistically insignificant to researchers, I think that’s a ridiculously high number. O-N-E-L-E-S-S my ass. Trading the risk of possibly acquiring one of four CURABLE types of HPV for paralysis or death? I’ll take my chances with HPV, thankyouverymuch.

The vaccine’s manufacturer, Merck & Co. Inc., says it has distributed more than 26 million Gardasil vaccines worldwide, including nearly 16 million in the United States. It estimates that 8 million girls and women have received the vaccine in the United States since June 2006.

Holy crap! We are poisoning our young women at an alarming rate because the drug’s makers and marketers are not giving the full story to its victims.

Jesalee’s lawyer, Michael McLaren, said she got the shot on February 27, 2007 and soon developed a fever and felt pain. The next day, he said, Jesalee felt pain in her chest and abdomen.

Her mother, Laura Parsons, said Jesalee spent weeks in the hospital and underwent two surgeries after developing pancreatitis. She says the federal government should have studied the drug more before approving its use.

“I just feel let down by the government,” Parsons said.

I feel very sorry for that fourteen-year old girl, but for her mother to accuse the government of letting her down when she likely did nothing to research the poison prior to offering her daughter up as a guinea pig is asinine. A quick google search for Gardasil risks or Gardasil side effects brings my blog up pretty close to the top, and several far more reputable sites up higher than mine.

Merck, of course, says the healthy girls’ sudden serious unhealthy situations are coincidence and have nothing at all to do with their poison, Gardasil.

I get so angry every time I hear or see a commercial urging parents to poison their daughters with Gardasil. It’s too early to know all the possible long-term negative (and positive, for that matter) effects of this drug. It’s about time the media starts reporting the negative.

(I’ve ranted about this before.)

H/T Lukie

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So… someone keeps calling my cell phone, and I keep rejecting the call. Except for earlier, when I accidentally hit “accept” while grabbing the ringing phone out of my purse. When I saw the caller ID, I immediately disconnected the call and silently cursed myself for answering. Of course, the person immediately called back, sensing I had disconnected in error. I’m not sure if there is a voice mail message or not, as I haven’t felt the need to check.

The thing is, this person does not know why I am rejecting their calls. I am too angry with this person — for something they have likely long forgotten they did, but I only just learned about in the past two months — to even inform them about why I’m upset.

But, I don’t have to talk to them. I’m sorry if they feel hurt by my unexplained rejection, but I don’t have to talk to them. I did, however, inform someone we both speak to so that, should my rejection of calls come up in everyday conversation, they could feel free to inform why I’m rejecting the calls. But that person doesn’t have to.

Anyway, their pain was brought upon themselves by inflicting pain upon me and my family (who actually remain in the dark as I choose to keep this pain to myself except for this semi-cryptic post).

It has been forty days since I last spoke to that person. I didn’t want to initiate the call on that day, having just learned of their mean-spirited “thing” that week, but it was a holiday on which you are required by Hallmark and AT&T to make contact, so I called. You’re all smart and can count back forty days to discern who I’m rejecting, if you’re so inclined.

Apparently, I can hold a grudge. And, frankly, this “thing” is a doozey. So much so that I have only spoken of it with two other people: the one who brought it to my attention, and actually, the other one who brought it to my attention a full year ago that I laughed off at the time. But when the second person brought this “thing” to my attention, that was it.

If your actions/words/whatever are unhealthy for me, my husband, and my child, I don’t have to have you in my life. Period. We have tolerated more than our fair share of mean-spiritedness from this habitual offender.

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FYI - If you ever decide to order a pizza from the Pizza Hut located at Hansel Avenue & Hoffner Road (407-856-6216), DON’T.

At approximately 630p, Fred called to order a pizza. It’s poker night, pizza is a good snack food. He placed his order, gave our phone number, gave our address, gave a credit card number and was told they would call us back to make sure it wasn’t a hoax order. Um. Kay. I would think that providing a credit card would indicate we are serious about ordering a pizza, but whatever. Forty minutes was the promised delivery time. Forty minutes later (after being distracted by the pool table), I suggested Fred call and find out where the heck our pizza is.

He called, and they never made our pizza because they misdialed our phone number and concluded it was a hoax. WE GAVE A CREDIT CARD, don’t you think that means we want that pizza? Seriously. WTF? And the girl on the phone was un-apologetic. “Oh, oops, I dialed a 9 instead of an 8.” Tee hee. Bitch.

In thirty minutes or so, we should receive our pizza from American Pie, which is a better pizza anyway, IMO.

Meanwhile, I’ll be sending a bitch letter to Pizza Hut corporate tomorrow. Because I can. And because I’m completely baffled by their system of stupidity.

UPDATED @ 758p Can you believe American Pie delivered a pizza to us without calling to verify we ordered a pizza? They just assumed that since we called to order and provided a credit card that we really did want a pizza from them. Astounding!

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Yesterday evening, while sherlock grilled up the steaks and baked potatoes for dinner, I sat on the swing, enjoying the breeze from a front that moved through, with my bunny at my feet happily digging a hole. It was bliss. Young Petri occasionally nudged my ankles, asking me to massage his ears. Sherlock occasionally nudged my neck wanting who knows what, as he alternated between sitting beside me on the swing and checking on the grill. Yes, a wonderfully relaxing way to spend some time.

Until the two sandhill cranes came running at full speed, and then started to fly.

And two horrid little boys came running after them. The albino boy THREW A KNIFE at the birds. WTF?

You’ll never in a million years guess who started screaming at those boys. Go ahead, guess.

Horrid children. And not children I’m familiar with, else I would have gone to their parents house and given them an earful, too.

That kid is lucky he didn’t hurt someone. When he threw the knife, he was positioned in such a way that he could not see into our yard. If one of us had been walking toward the pond that that moment, the knife could have hit one of us. And then there’d be hell to pay, I assure you.

It’s a crime to harass the sandhill cranes, by the way. Horrible boys.

Now, I know some of you will say “boys will be boys,” but I played with boys more than girls growing up, and we never threw knives at animals. One time, in our teens, JP shot and killed a bird with a bb gun, and I was so upset with him. But that’s the only time I ever remember being cruel to animals.

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I have to make a video. Other than my long-forgotten poetry slams, I don’t really enjoy doing these types of things. But, a video is what is required. So, once Jeopardy ends, I have to do a quick video. I curled my hair for it and touched up my makeup. You know, because it’s nice to do these things just before you go out for a “run.”

Doh! Jeopardy just ended. Time to make a video.

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I am sick of clicking the various news sites and finding all the top story headlines contain the word “obama” in them. Is nothing else going on in the world? It makes me want to cry out in ecstasy.

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